


Worth Beyond The Gloom

by Couvina



Series: Valenslimes Day 2020 [2]
Category: Dragon Quest Series, Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wings, Angst, Flutie Tag: As The Gloomnivore Would Say - A Delicious Morsel Of Misery, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22681378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Couvina/pseuds/Couvina
Summary: Eleven has just conquered the fight with the Gloomnivore along with his small party of Rab, Sylvando, and Hendrik. After saving the soul of his departed father and reclaiming his powers as the Luminary, you'd think that he'd have a better mind about the world at hand.
Relationships: Graig | Hendrik/Hero | Luminary
Series: Valenslimes Day 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631575
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Worth Beyond The Gloom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sumbril](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumbril/gifts).



> I don't know you very well myself! I'm very anxious about talking, and you radiate that sort of "cool" vibe… maybe it's your icon >7>
> 
> I was so excited to write this for you, I hope it definitely makes your day since you've been having such a trudgy time lately!! Also you were so friendly with replying to my anons!! I almost broke and outed myself directly in the SoS discord bc you called me adorable and like ardyjvkbde I felt truly like a gooy lil slime in that moment (~ Q ⁷Q)~
> 
> I didn't have the time I wanted to also draw a thing for this, but rest assured I shall at SOME POINT, draw art for this òvó

Eleven sat by the river's edge, staring into the water that held a shattered moon in its reflection. The water's reflection of Dundrasil didn't actually look too different from the real thing above. When Eleven first got here, it didn't really seem like much to appreciate… After rescuing his father, Irwin, from the Gloomnivore though, he could understand why Rab loved this place so dearly. Eleven could look up and see where the castle had once stood tall. Maybe he could find himself there again through meditation! Feel the warmth and the love that radiated once radiated throughout the halls. With newfound resolve, Eleven sought to forget the anxieties Gloomnivore had sown, as well as finding his new peaceful state of mind.

The soft babbling proved to be quite soothing in the night of singing crickets. The perfect white noise to soothe the boy's nerves.

In the short time he had spent with Rab and Grandmaster Pang, Eleven was taught the very basics of how to meditate, or at least what it was supposed to achieve. He still needed so much practice. He straightened his posture, letting his wings gently drop to the dirt on either side. Eleven closed his eyes, first directing his attention to how he was breathing. When he was satisfied with its change, he then tried to focus on his mind. Don't let himself be distracted. Don't listen to the negativity that grew within his thoughts. 

The Gloomnivore that died by his sword would die permanently in mind, and he would die tonight.

It wasn't long before he could hear the Gloomnivore. Looking around at his mental space, he could see traces of buildings around himself. They seemed ghostly however, flickering when the Gloomnivore rang through, just as desirous as he was in life. That was it though, he wasn't alive anymore. Eleven stopped trying to focus on Mordegon's beast and instead on the faded illusion of his reality. 

"Your powers were stolen." The voice rang clearly, almost softly. Eleven took a breath, attempting to focus.

_I got them back. I'm the Luminary again._

He could hear clearly the sound of the water rushing through. Focus. Clear your mind. Purge the Gloomnivore. 

"Aren't you a bit late then child? You don't know any more than you did before the Fall. Before your friends paid the price."

_Stop._

"And what if my master strikes again? What can stop you from reliving your most painful memory in real time?" your one nightmare? Will you freeze? Will you flee?"

_You were defeated, you're dead. Leave me alone, I've grown!_

"Grown?" His tone seemed to change. It was harsh now.

"What kind of pathetic hero do you believe you are? The only soul you saved died on your very day of birth! He suffered for seventeen years because you could not grow fast enough!"

Eleven felt his throat catch. The fake world he tried so hard to maintain flickering around him, walls crumbling as he tried to regain his composure. He pivoted quickly when he felt breathing behind him, greeted by the towering sight of Mordegon.

The very Lord of Shadows spoke now with a knowing expression. He found the Luminary. With a malicious grin, he reached for Eleven, "Everything is as it is because you exist! Because-"

Eleven snapped back into reality with wide-eyed panic, the pressure of a hand reaching him in the real world shocking him to his very core. When he realized it was just Hendrik before him and _not_ his frantic projection of Mordegon, Eleven could feel the muscles in his entire body relax.

"Hendrik?" He began with a meek smile. "Why are you up so late?" He tried to stand, keeping the illusion that everything was perfectly fine… but it was difficult to see if Hendrik was buying it.

"I believe I may ask the same to you, Luminary. Can you not sleep after the occasion of freeing your father from his mental prison?" He questioned. He was stoic as ever, though Eleven had been able to pick up the subtlest of clues to how Hendrik could feel. He recognized the faint hints of concern. 

"No, I'm glad! I finally got to meet my father, I'd always wondered about him," he began, the last of adrenaline escaping with a heavy sigh. "I even got to save him after all. Who can say that?"

It didn't work. The taller furrowed his brow toward Eleven, eliciting a faint blush. Eleven was an awful liar always. He was bothered by something that he wouldn't tell Hendrik. If he wouldn't tell him what troubled him so, then he would have to find a different way of understanding the issue. Since riverside silence clearly had its flaws… 

"Come, Luminary. If you truly cannot rest on your own, then allow me to hone your swordship."

Eleven peered to his knight in bewilderment. Training? "At this hour??"

"I see no proper reason to deny such a proposition. The exercise should be plenty effective in tiring you enough for sleep. Perhaps even distract you from your troubles. If I'm proven to be wrong, then at least your skills in battle will improve." 

  
  


Hendrik led Eleven beyond the campground, following the river. The path crept up a hill before disappearing into a flat area of dirt. It was still within the gentle eyesight of camp below, and just high enough for the swift current to cushion the fall without lasting damage. While the rapids sounded pleasant to the ear, the sight looked freezing and harsh. Eleven would have to keep his attention in top shape if he didn't want to fall off of his third cliff.

The call of his name from Hendrik brought him back to senses he wasn't aware he'd lost. Not the best start.

"Is there anything you wish to tell me before we begin, Luminary?" Hendrik began cautiously. 

"Not at all! I guess I just have to get to sparring to focus, right?"

"Very well then. Draw your blade!"

The clash of swords resonated throughout the night air, sparks flying with vigor only to vanish into the stars above. The Gargoyle wings that Hendrik bore lived up to their terrifying reputation. Eleven's own gentle dove wings could hardly keep up with the fabled knight as his own thoughts raced. Hendrik handled his own blade graciously despite its sheer size, the moonlight above accenting everything magical about him. Eleven didn't deserve this training. He didn't deserve Hendrik.

_Wait._

Hendrik seized the opportunity handed to him. He swept with his greatsword and that was when all time slowed.

_Fly! You have to!_

Eleven spread his wings, ready to dodge in eager instinct. But he froze. Fear overcame his body as all muscles tensed. All the poor Luminary could do now was brace to block the incoming blow.

It was over.

Hendrik had bound toward Eleven in fierce attempts to keep his charge from falling off of the chosen cliff to the rapids below. It was one of Hendrik's broad wings that caught him, the wings curved to the perfect shape to keep him aloft. Eleven chuckled nervously within the comfort, "Ahah! You caught me! Did you know that _that_ fall would have been my third-"

"You hesitated, froze," Hendrik stated with an unamused, perhaps even harsh expression. It wasn't in his chivalrous nature to interrupt a comrade, but for this Hendrik made a single exception. Something was wrong. He was going to find it. But first, he brought his wing back to the dirt for Eleven to stand again. When he faced Eleven again, he could see the petrified face he bore. It hurt.

"Your experiences among Erdrea's cliffs are not unknown to my comprehension. Your thoughts have become clouded, and you struggle with being kind or cruel."

He approached Eleven cautiously, stopping when he was an arms' length away. "Something eats at your mind, Luminary. While I may once have been blind to the feelings of my comrades, I refuse to idly stand by as you plainly suffer further in silence. I beg of you, you must speak."

Eleven felt his throat clench. This was it. He was caught, he failed, he… he couldn't solve his troubles. But he was the _Luminary!_ He shouldn't have troubles! _But no one goes through the troubles you do._

"I- I was just thinking, and I thought I wouldn't be able to dodge in time like I initially expected," he stated dismissively, a grotty smile creeping to his face. All a desperate attempt to quell Hendrik's spot on suspicions. Eleven could tell not a single lie would work in his favor tonight when he looked at Hendrik's eyes. There was something scary about them. They were stern definitely, but they didn't feel the same as before. 

A frown deepened in Hendrik's expression, further confirming to Eleven that he couldn't escape this moment. Yet as Hendrik opened his mouth to speak, he was stunned by how soft his tone was.

"You handled your weapon differently when we caught side by side, Luminary. After waking In a new world plagued with evils lurking about every corner of Erdrea, you still had courage. Courage is not an easy trait to lose," he declared dourly. Although he was clear and direct, something new could be heard. It was almost as if Eleven could hear something within Hendrik _hurt._ He hurt even Hendrik?

The taller continued still, seeing Eleven's body language grow increasingly unstable. "I do not know how long you have burdened your troubles on yourself. But something bleak and treacherous festers within, and I shall not turn a blind eye," he finished, planting his hands upon Eleven's shoulders. 

"I- I'm fine, nothing's wrong, Hendrik," Eleven replied, eyes down to face the ground below. _If he learns you're weak then he'll abandon you._

"It's nothing, I promise I just- no I…" Eleven bit at the inside of his cheek, taking a step back from Hendrik. He was petrified by his fears. How Hendrik could declare such truths was absolutely beyond himself. The Gloomnivore's words never left, nor the worse memories of Mordegon's return and Yggdrasil's fall. The perverted feelings of when he got stabbed. He may have reclaimed his birthright as Yggdrasil's chosen hero, but he, and now Hendrik, knew he had not reclaimed his own peace.

Eleven fell to his knees, hands clutched at his chest painfully as he felt himself grow overwhelmed. His breath caught in his throat. Tears welled as he felt his entire being relive his greatest regret. He could feel Hendrik staring him down. Why was he following him? He must have been a horrible Luminary. _Weak._

Yet suddenly, a darkness overwhelmed him, and a warmth followed suit. A warmth that cared, that could drown out the trauma of Mordegon, the warmth that he had been looking for ever since he first woke up to this new world. When he could focus on only the soothing warmth, he could see it was none other than Hendrik embracing him. 

Strong arms held the Luminary close to hear the gentle beating of Hendrik's heart. Strong wings of the Gargoyle shielded the Luminary from the outside world. An opening above revealed the gentle twinkling of concerned stars, with Hendrik at the forefront of them all. Elevens anxieties quelled, his muscles relaxing as he began to recognize this embrace. He felt this feeling every time he hugged one of his friends. He felt safe here. Hendrik allowed himself to loosen his grip around his smaller charge, his expression softened. 

"Have you forgotten what I said within the throne room of Heliodor? The one I must protect above all others," he began, a firm and confident tone. "I did not declare such a statement carelessly. I wish to protect you from all manner of menace, even if that means your own precarious thoughts."

Eleven took a sharp breath, embracing Hendrik tightly to hide the pain in his face. "I… ever since the Fall, I can't fly," he began shakily. _What are you doing!?_ Eleven's throat was already threatening to cease all manner of function if it meant showing no weakness. But he found that, to his own shock, he was desperate to talk. Desperate to share his grief with someone! He decided he could talk to Hendrik, he _had_ to.

"At first, it was because… because I thought they were injured. I didn't want to strain them. But then…" he hesitated, his voice steadily quieting. A reaffirming hand rested itself upon Eleven's shoulder to hold him closer. Hendrik needn't even murmur reassurances for Eleven to understand. 

"Word of you spread so fast you know… the hero. I was so shocked when I found out it was you… and I was scared," he admitted solemnly as his feathered wings tensed. "I felt… guilty. We fought together, and it was you who had to save me again, and then Jasper, an- and-" 

Eleven began to struggle with his words, acidic tears quickly welling as he struggled to breathe in more than just jagged hiccups.

_I couldn't help it, I failed everyone back then._

"My wings g-got better, they've been f-fine, but I just-" he let go of Hendrik, receding into himself again. What was he _thinking_ , opening up like that. "Everytime I try I just see him, I see Mordegon," he hissed in shame. "And I'm so _scared._ I'm scared of getting caught, I'm scared of getting hurt, of failing everyone around me!" He bawled. He could feel his nose run, mingling with the flood of stinging tears.

Hendrik embraced Eleven once more, tighter than before as he softly attempted to soothe the smaller. He wasn't sure what to do, admittedly. A stray hand gently rubbed circles along Eleven's back. A steady motion that seemed to ease all of the tension as the Luminary sobbed into Hendrik. He couldn't make out much of what was being said, but he could pick up on when he would wail his needless apologies. 

Neither was sure of how much time had passed exactly before Eleven had finally managed to finally wring his tear ducts dry. He lifted himself from Hendrik's chest, greeted by a horrendous blotch of moisture he'd left in Hendrik's clothes. He didn't have the time the apologize for that. Hendrik helped straighten out Eleven's posture, placing a firm hand on either shoulder.

"Eleven," he started, his voice soft. With a swift shift of his vast wings, he released them of their stone encasement to the brisk, chilly air, and the countless stars that helped brighten the world they strode upon. Yet, despite the nature, Eleven with his puffy, tired eyes could only focus on Hendrik before him. For the first time, Eleven could have sworn he saw Hendrik smile.

"Thank you for entrusting me with your feelings."

  
  


The two returned to camp to sleep what was left of the night hours, the young Luminary absolutely exhausted from their time on the cliff. Hendrik gently crept into the tent, quickly making eye contact with Sylvando who shockingly laid awake and somehow _knowing_. Not a single word was ushered between the two as Hendrik attempted to lay Eleven down. He was met with gentle protests, arms firmly wrapped around Hendrik's neck. 

Every effort to have Eleven release his grasp was met with failure upon failure. Hendrik could feel his face burn with a blush that stretched ear to ear, though he wasn't sure if it was his feelings for the Luminary, or embarrassment from Sylvando's absolute and piercing gaze. 

He glanced toward his old friend in defeat. The jester was grinning, eyebrows raised as he emphatically pat his hand upon the ground below. There was nothing poor Hendrik could do but accept this defeat. Carefully, he laid himself on the ground below with Eleven comfortably resting atop. Hendrik could feel the glint in his old comrades' eyes at the sight he witnessed. All Hendrik could do now was succumb to the slumber that beckoned him now. Succumb and hope Sylvando never utters a word to another soul.


End file.
